Congrats Mr. & Mrs. West!... but Seriously Jaden?!

Congrats on your nuptials Kimberly Noel and Kanye Omari. You did it Ye! You married your Dream Girl! Not surprisingly, Kim’s dress was lovely and elegant and Kanye looked dapper and over the moon with joy.

André Leon Talley, Blessed Father of Fashion. Hello Sir. I gave you the moniker Big Red Riding Hood after seeing that Red Sea Monstrosity you wore to the wedding. Not every item of clothing looks good or is flattering, Haute Couture or not. I’mma let you have your moment though ALT! Do You Love! Do You!!

What I really want to talk about is Jaden Smith and that doggone white Batman suit! Boy! What in The What of Whats! See anything 'OFF' about the photo above? Yep. I'm sure you do. Why it always gotta be that one person that always gotta be doing The Most? It Never Fails. Why can’t some folks just dress like fairly normal, ordinary, everyday people? Why Lawd?!

Will and Jada, I let y’all slide when I saw the pic of that not-quite-a-boy, not-quite-a-man, shirtless in bed with Willow. I was thinking, ‘Oh, Okay then’. ‘What’s the big deal?’ ‘They’re celebrity kids. They live a different life and by a different set of rules than normal, everyday kids.’ ‘He grew up with them.” ‘He’s Jaden’s friend’. ‘Willow has on clothes.’ I thought of every possible way to be unbothered by that image. To be honest though, I have no idea exactly how I would respond if that were my daughter. But I digress…

Back to Batman. When I saw Jaden in that stoooopid white Batman suit at Kim and Kanye’s good good weddin’, I was like ‘No, No, No, No’ in both my Destiny’s Child AND Dawn Penn voices! Boy! What the hell is wrong with you?! You know better than that Jaden! Or do you?

I wish a muddafukka would show up at my doggone weddin’ dressed like a got damn clown! I really wish somebody would! Let me be walkin’ down da aisle after nearly fawty got damn years and see somebody in their Halloween Best! I really wish a muddafukka would! Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

I don’t have any kids yet, but I wish my future son or daughter would fix their lip to tell me (they are going to a wedding, overseas no less and out of all their possible wardrobe choices), they have selected to wear a Batman [or some other outrageous] costume to a Weddin'! ‘Say What Now?!’ (in my Nene Leakes’ voice). It is not Halloween, a costume party or a trip to the grocery store. I am all for embracing a child's individuality, creativity and self expression. How-B-Ever, A Weddin' is NOT the occasion for THAT Outfit! No Sir! No Ma’am! Hell Nah!

A wedding is all about the Bride, the Groom (or Bride and Bride or Groom and Groom) and Celebrating their Love and Union. A Wedding is THEIR Big Day. That most definitely was not the time or the place for Jaden’s costume and his tomfoolery.  That was not the place for him to be goofing off and photobombing other guests’ photos in the photo booth. Look at Kourtney's face y'all! She looks Salty AF!

There has never ever been a day when Malia and Sasha left 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and were out there in dem streets looking crazy. All it would take is one good side eye from FLOTUS, Mom-in-Chief & Fashion Icon Michelle Obama to shut that shit D-O-W-N with the Usain Bolt quickness!

All fun and jokes aside… Will and Jada, please please please pay more attention to your children. Seriously, a few rules and some structure never ever hurt nobody.

YsanneBueno is a music addict, pepper sauce aficionado and sometime writer 

Made in JahMekYah, Built in Nu Yawk Citi, trying to adjust to life in Jawja.