So I have a question... And I know other people are probably thinking the same thing but don't nobody wanna say nothing. Oh Well, Fuck It! A lot of folks think I have no filter, so I'mma say something!
What is going on wit' you and dem fake eyelashes Love? Is this like a new thing for you? I hate to break it to you but those lashes are NOT The Move. Dem joints be looking very tarantula-esque. Dem fake lashes are screaming very much dollar store purchase Daahlin'! Is that really the look you're going for?
I am definitely not a MUA by any means but I can see with my one good eye when something looks good, bad or outrageously outlandish. Deciding on full strip lashes can sometimes be a little tricky, especially for a rookie. Individual lashes are awesome and can give you the fullness, length and drama you crave without bordering on circus clown type ish. Also, never ever underestimate the power of a great mascara! That shit can be pretty damn near magical yo! Cheap lashes and eyelash glue can rip your real eyelashes clean da efff out. They can also lead to a wicked eye infection something tewwiboh if you're not careful.
Donkey years ago when God was a boy, let's just say I got more than a little carried away with plucking my poor brows out within an inch of their natural born life. Thank Gawd a friend checked me and asked what the hell was up with my Starvation Edition Eyebrows. Good looking out Aisha! ;-) Thank you so much for keeping it Really Real in da field pretty girl! Thank goodness my brows were eventually able to grow back completely. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Otherwise, I woulda probably been very much serving some Whoopi Goldberg type eyebrows today! (Wipes cold sweat from my brows). Whew! I am Forever Grateful Gawd!
Anyhoo, back to the lash situation. Everyone has different tastes of course and it's a free world so folks can wear pretty much whatever they want whenever they want. Then again, some folks are going on dates butt ass naked now, so I guess clothes are optional for them these days. What in the World of Worlds Faahdah Gawd?! Cho! Shake mi Bloodclaat head yaah man! But again, I digress...
If you go hella crazy with the lash glue something as simple as blinking can become a real challenge. You do NOT want that. You also do NOT want your falsies hanging halfway off your real lashes one blink away from a skruggle struggle. You also definitely do NOT want to be the girl folks are bad talking and laughing at when you roll up in the party thinking you Fly AF. And believe me, dem muthafuckas will do just that cuz some people just be grimy like that. As we say in Patois (Creole) in Jamaica, 'A Nuh Every Kin Teet A Laugh'. Believe me, I know from experience (not because of fake lashes tho!), dem bishes most likely AIN'T laughing WITH you, they are laughing AT you. Do NOT be the brunt of dem mofos' joke.
As much as I detest Mrs. Kanye West (y'all can't tell me that Noted Scholar, PROFESSOR of English, DOCTOR Donda C. West ain't rolling in her grave. Keep it real y'all!) AKA Kim Kardashian for all her hollow brain airheadedness, her extremely annoying I've-swallowed-fifty-'leven-helium-balloons-valley-girl voice, super fake cry faces and her zillion oh so silly duck face photos, [I HATE ALL Duck Face Pics BTW], she and her MUAs have over the years pretty much mastered the art of applying and wearing false lashes and wearing them pretty damn doggone well.
Practice will eventually make perfect for both selecting and applying false lashes. Save the Whoa Dere! lashes for a special event like your birthday, New Year's Eve or Halloween, etc. I say go more for New Nicki Minaj AKA Onika Maraj subtlety (Thank You Jeezas!) and less for Old Nicki Minaj Over the Top Look-At-Me!-Look-At-Me!-Ness for your everyday look.
Trust me, your REAL lashes will thank you one day. You're welcome sweetheart. :-)
YsanneBueno is a music addict, pepper sauce aficionado and sometime writer
Made in JahMekYah, Built in Nu Yawk Citi, trying to adjust to life in Jawja.
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